Recently, my sister had a friend from out of town come and visit. He stayed for just a short while and noticed one thing; Seattle isn't all that friendly.
In fact he called it "The Seattle Freeze."
I've lived in Seattle for about 11 years, most of that time, as a single person, with a short four and a half years of being married. I have to say, dating presents its challenges. Needless to say, dating itself is a challenge and trying to pull it off in a city that slaps you in the face every time you turn around doesn't make it easier.
The Seattle environment is gorgeous. We are surrounded by some of the smartest, most educated people in the nation and some of the more adventurous in nature. We have divine hiking trails, gorgeous mountains and water all around us. I've begun to notice that most of what I thought were dating prospects expect a certain amount of athletic ability and a laundry list of perfection that no one could possibly live up to.
I've tried Match.com, I'm currently on OKCupid. Two dating sites that have proven well for some people I know. I even dated a man last year for about nine months from OKCupid and he was wonderful. Lately my odds aren't so good. I'm 0 for 4: Four dates in about 6 months and not one single connection. I even had a date recently who flatly said he hated dogs, knowing I had a dog and proceeded to counter everything I said from there on out. At least I got a good beer out of it!
All I'm saying is that it's hard to meet people here. I'm surrounded by friends and family that have a significant other in their lives and my single status is getting a bit tired. I'm perfectly content being single. I'm a single mom who goes to film, theatre, concerts and even out to dinner, by my self. It's no big deal. But I believe we weren't put on this earth to go it alone. I want to share my life with someone and would like to do it before I'm old and gray. I'm not saying that it's greener on the other side; relationships are tough and you have to work at it constantly in order to keep it alive and well. But in many ways, that's what I'm looking forward to - Working on something together and coming out the other side a better person for it.
It's a stretch just to get someone to smile at me on the bus or as I'm walking downtown. I think we all need to stop for a bit and realize what we're doing to each other. I'm not the girl on the cover of Kayak magazine and I'm not a bungee jumper in red high heels with long blonde hair and a tan. I'm just me. Shouldn't that be enough? Apparently the list of the perfect date just keeps getting more idealistic and it's come down to ridiculous details that mean nothing in the big picture. It's about a connection and chemistry. That smile and lingering stare that says something's going to happen and it's going to be good. It's not about weather she likes sushi and he doesn't and who the hell cares anyway?! I guess I'm just a bit old fashioned and want something substantial and real. It's tough being single in Seattle. Maybe I should take the advice of my mother: "Stop looking and that's when he will come along." Maybe she's right.
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