Intentions

One can live a life full of regrets, wishes, forgotten dreams. Basically, most everyone I know in some capacity or another. I have to set intentions for a new year because if I go on like this, life is bound to get much worse. I've spent this year hoping that it would be better than 2007; and for the most part, it was. However, I think my greatest challenge in life is striking a balance. With me, it's either all or nothing. That is a difficult life to lead and to keep up with. The sense of urgency overrules and then nothing gets done and here I am, at the end of another year, and didn't do what I really wanted to do. So, as a pagan, or an alternative spiritualist, whatever you want to box me into, I'm putting my intentions out in the universe via blog, and see what comes. Because if you say or write your intentions, the more likely they will come to fruition.

-Learn to relax, truly, truly, relax.
-Listen to more meditative music
-use my prayer beads to relax my mind
-exercise for the health of it, not because I'm short, stocky, fat, what have you
-eat more fruits and vegetables and the more organic, in-season foods
-look in the mirror and tell myself that I am beautiful and worth everything I long for
-continue to be a role model for my daughter
-publish (or attempt to) knitting patterns
-walk more to clear my mind
-knit more things for myself
-write more
-let go of the anger and resentment of the past in order to move forward

These are my intentions. I visited a Tibetan shop that I frequent near work today and bought myself a new year's gift: Himalayan Meditation music and prayer beads for both my daughter and I to use. The wonderful man who owns the place is so peaceful and so humble, it really sets things in motion for me to be more compassionate and hope for human-kind to be more passionate. He gave me a Universal Prayer to memorize in times of need:

May all sentient beings have happiness and its cause
May all sentient beings be free, suffering its cause
May all sentient beings never be separated from sorrowless bliss
May all sentient beings abide in equanimity, free of bias, attachment and anger.

Om Ma Ni Pad Ma Hung

Twin Peaks: Not just under my shirt

My daughter and I have been embarking on the Twin Peaks series. There were two kinds of people in the world in the early '90's. Those who watched Twin Peaks and those who watched Northern Exposure. I was the latter, so I decided it was time to find out about Laura Palmer and the pop culture phenomenon of Twin Peaks. It is of interest that Kyle McLachlan was born and grew up in my hometown, Yakima, WA. He went to Ike (aka Eisenhower High School) He being significantly older than me, I never knew him.

He is one quirky dude in Twin Peaks. The macabre setting, the haunting soundtrack all makes for a desolate, can't get enough of, dark and dreary, Peyton's Place. Everyone smokes, screws around on their significant other and owns a gun. All very, very interesting. Who killed Laura Palmer? We don't know yet, one more season to go.

...and if anyone knows, who is Diane? :)

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown

"Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."

I love that line. Last night, two Charlie Brown Christmas specials were on TV. I managed to get my daughter out of her room long enough to break away from the DS (well, kind of) and watch them with me. "Just indulge me," I pleaded. She was reluctant, but didn't realize that's what my holidays were like growing up. Rudolf, Frosty, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Charlie Brown; they were a BIG deal. My family would set out time for these and we'd have popcorn or some other snack and sit down and watch them to get into the spirit of the season. Good memories for me. I want to share them with my daughter. She may not "get" it, but it helps me to remember times that were free and problems that were few.

I'm trying to establish our own set of traditions and it's hard because the youth of today are so plugged in, that parents have to really make a concerted, consistent effort to pry their little fingers away from the controls. This year, I'm taking her to the Nutcracker, a fire Solstice celebration and a Garden d'Lights exhibition in Bellevue. A few years back, we even made cookies while listening to John Denver. Not my best moment, but it was fun singing, "thank God I'm a country boy!" while icing the stars. Who can say they've done that!

'Tis the Season!

Winter Solstice

I used to actively delve into the alternative forms of religion. What seems long ago, in reality, is just five years ago. It began with an All Hallow's Eve ritual here in Seattle and then a Yule ritual that same year. I bought books, I read on all alternative religions and finally came to the realization that I am too much of an individual to follow any one doctrine. I like to "customize" my belief system and take from many, mostly from the old pagan traditions and the rest from Buddhism. So, my interest hasn't necessarily waned, just my practice of it has. In 2009, my goal is to celebrate all the sabbats and hopefully attend a solstice celebration next year. The solstice coming up; Winter Solstice. A beautiful time of year when we celebrate the darkness because without it, there would be no light. A time celebrated long before the birth of Jesus and in many different forms throughout the world. In Rome, for example, Saturnalia it was called and from them came the Mummers; people who would go from home to home singing the joys of the season and that is where Christmas Caroling came from. This December, I want to remember why we truly put up a tree, kiss under the mistletoe and burn the yule log in our fire, figuratively or literally. It is interesting to note the many symbols we take for granted and credit the Christian religion when it should really belong to our fore mothers and forefathers.

Yule: def. Wheel, or a symbol for the sun.
Symbolizes the pagan God Mithras in Northern Europe. Burning a yule log celebrates
the inevitable return of the sun because after Solstice, each day gets longer by the
minute.

Mistletoe: Sacred plant considered to be prosperous and used in early fertility rituals. Druid in
origin. Also a plant for love and peace.

Hollyberries: Thought to be good food to offer to the Gods.

The Tree: "Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during the harsh winters as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshiping huge trees."
-taken from http://www.essortment.com/all/christmaspagan_rece.htm

These are just a few. I remember one year, I celebrated the Winter Solstice by sitting on my kitchen floor, lighting the room by a few candles and decorating a wreathe in honor of the sun god. I placed it on my door. I celebrated alone that night and it was beautiful.

This year, I will try, (as my sister is begging me to do) to be calm, not let others annoy me or let me annoy myself! I will spend time with my daughter, shop online only and enjoy a quiet, relaxing Christmas with the people that really matter in my life. And for those who I can't see this Christmas, let them know they mean the world to me.

Superfluous

What a great word.
Superfluous is.....

-my yarn collection
-my yarn obsession
-some people's homes
-subwoofers....woofers in general :)
....If I think of more, I'll add it to my list today. I shall say this word as often as possible today.